Formula Oppo: The Simply Sausages Grand Prix of Sealand

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
07/03/2015 at 18:41 • Filed to: FO

Welcome to the 9th round of the internet’s only Formula One fantasy picking game that is officially only existing on Oppositelock.kinja.com, or as it’s colloquially known as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! This week we travel to that off shore oil platform that’s not officially recognized as Sealand, which is not to be confused with those fuckers over at Sea World. Sealand Stronk!

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! Nico pipped Lewis on the start and Felipe snuck by Sebastian during a botched pit stop and held out for third. Kimi’s Ferrari snapoversteered as Fernado collected him into the wall. Scores more retired, but not Pastor Maldonado. No Pastor Maldonado and his gigantic (and possibly cancerous) testicles (seriously, brah, might want to get those things checked out if they’re that large) managed to hold it together and score points.

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This week promises to be even more exciting, because er’body in da club gettin upgrades fo Sealand. Williams was fucking with the rest of the teams by running testing only illegal winglets, but what did they upgrade? Force India finally introduced their actual 2015 car complete with old school McLaren nostrils, but are they actually legal? Ferrari did some things, will they find their mojo again? McLaren is in desperate need of a reliable powertrain, will they finally get it? Can the Red Bulls find another set of Renault Twingo’s to get some motors? Will Sealand ever be recognized as a sovereign nation?

Your drivers:

Lewis Hamilton- Mercedes

Nico Rosberg- Mercedes

Daniel Ricciardo- Red Bull

Daniil Kvyat- Red Bull

Felipe Massa- Williams

Valtteri Bottas- Williams

Sebastian Vettel- Ferrari

Kimi Raikkonen- Ferrai

Kevin Magnussen Fernando Alonso- McLaren

Jenson Button- McLaren

Nico Hulkenberg- Force India

Sergio Perez- Force India

The Wee Baby Max Verstappen- Torro Rosso

Carlos Sainz, Jr.- Torro Rosso

Pastor Maldonado- Lotus

Romain Grosjean- Lotus

Felipe Nasr- Sauber

Marcus Ericsson- Sauber

Will Stevens- Manor

Roberto Merhi- Manor

My Picks:

Q: Lewis Hamilton

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valtteri Bottas

Curse: No curse of Black Pearl for me this week.

Now the rest of you have until Q1 to get your picks in or else they be thrown off the platform.

Good luck!

DISCUSSION (40)

LongbowMkII > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 13:27

Q: Rosberg (not Rosenberg)

1: Moons over my Hammy

2: Rosberg (not the other one either)

3: German Android for Purpose of F1 Dominance MkII (Vettel)

Curse: Button because nice guys finish last.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 13:33

Q/1 - I will say Lewis sweeps it, he’s at home and will make sure his clutch issue is fixed.

2 - Probably Princess

3 - I will say Kimi because I want him to bounce back, but it may be the German metronome. I would rather have Bo77as or Danny get a third if Kimi doesn’t

Curse: McLaren in general

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 13:51

Q: Ham

1: Ham

2: Ros

3: Rai

RTeeJay > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 17:33

Q. Hamilton

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel

pip bip - choose Corrour > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 19:42

Q. Ham

1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Maldonado

curse Stevens.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 20:13

Q:HAm

1Ham

2 Rossberg

3Vettel

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/27/2015 at 21:43

Q. Rosberg

1. Rosberg

2. Vettel

3. Hamilton

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/29/2015 at 17:39

My Picks:

Q: Rosberg

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Kimi Raikkonen

Can I get a link to the standings?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif
06/29/2015 at 17:50

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d…

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/29/2015 at 17:51

Thought I missed one, figured I would check, Thanks! Keep up the good work Maximus!

Alex Zapata > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/29/2015 at 22:04

Gonna be boring again:

Q: Hamilton

1: Hamilton

2: Vettel

3. Rosberg

Curse: Alonso

Hoccy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/30/2015 at 17:56

Q: Hamilton
1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Bottas
Curse: Sainz Jr.

Wheelerguy > pip bip - choose Corrour
06/30/2015 at 23:19

Stevens? Really? At this point I think he has a better chance at finishing than Allons-y.

Wheelerguy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/30/2015 at 23:38

Kinja'd!!!

From now on I shall tag the mythical corner for my picks. Meanwhile I’m in danger of knackering my picks again and ending up not giving Williams a spot because it’s too fucking painful as a tifoso, but if the Williams get penalized... I don’t know, will they get penalized? Either way...

Mark Hamill for Q and win (oh, he totes got this), Seb 2nd (was about to say Kimi but he might get borked again), some random masseuse 3rd (if they Q well and take advantage of a Fezza mistake).

Again, fuck cursing.

Wheelerguy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
06/30/2015 at 23:41

Wow. I’m the last man on triple digits after Austria. It will change after this race, but here’s hoping I can hit the 200 mark by the (admittedly bitter) end of the season!

I’ve made my picks, man, just hollering about. BTW, Force India is cool again.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Wheelerguy
07/01/2015 at 03:39

i play eenie meanie miney moe.

Stevens popped up this time round , it was either him , Mehri , or the Mclarens